Wow . . . it has been a LONG ASS week. Saturday was graduation . . . then camp early sunday morning. camp was fun, but not nearly as amazing as last year. I was sad to leave, but happy to be home. and now i am EXHAUSTED. I can't believe I am even still awake right now . . .

::sigh:: people are dumb, and I hate them. . . . on a happy note, I got my camp stuff today, and I'm not in the same cabin as last year, *pout* but hopefully I'll still be with my friends. anyway, it will be a good time. I also bought new books today, yay books! (i wonder when the day will come where you can d/l entire books, like mp3s.)

In a week I'll be at camp! I'm very very excited! I can't wait. graduation is 6 days away, not too sure how I feel about that, happy and sad. every time I see some graduation type thingy on tv though I start bawling, and then am forced to change the channel. But camp makes me feel happy. And Falcon Ridge is just over a month away. Lots of fun stuff to look forward to this summer. Oh yeah! I'm getting a guitar this week! yay! (i don't know how to play, but I'm gonna learn!)

you know what i've decided? Sex can be your best friend or your worst enemy. When you're having it, and it's good, you are the luckiest son of a bitch alive. but when you're not getting any, my god you wish you didn't know what you were missing!

omg- I'm done. my highschool career is officially over. no more classes, no more finals, a week, then graduation, and I'm done. wow . . .

I feel old. I bought a dirtdevil today, and it was exciting. this scares me.

Aha! I have come to a realization. I have not constantly been in a relationship most of my life b/c I have a "need to be needed" complex (ok, maybe I do) but because being single SUCKS! yup, that's it. the single life is not for me.

OK, now I have learned something about myself. (well, actually I already knew this, but I am having a rude awakening) I don't take well to change. I like things the way they are. I don't want them to change. (ok, maybe a little bit) ::whining:: i don't want to graduate. I am going to miss all my friends. Things will never be the same. No longer will I have a class of 13 people, that I have known and grown up with for the past 13 years. My graduating class will be 4,000 not 147. :( is it bad form to cry when accepting one's diploma? there are only two weeks left of my entire high school career. ::shudder:: scary . . .

::giggle:: I've decided I'm a Bohemian! YAY!

look, it's me AGAIN!

You are the lego woman! You are a rare find indeed! You are sassy, brilliant, and not to mention lookin' good! You are none other than the sexy lego woman! We can find you strolling the lego town shopping for all the latest lego fashions and then coming home to a low fat dinner and a bubble bath.

Take the "What Lego character are you?" test! by ctbx

hehe, fits me to a T.
which Episode II character are you?



Queen of Naboo. You could have a split personality - simply to hide who you really are. You are extremely polite and gentle. However, if needs be, you will take action and can be a very good leader. You have the power to make people believe in you - use this power. The one you love could also end up being the one you hate.

Am I the world's biggest loser? I think I am. Here I am, sitting at home, posting on my BLOG on a friday night. I'm single now, I'm not ready for a new relationship, but I'm certainly ready to have some fun now! But no, here I am, a big loser. :( and the double date for tomorrow? not looking so great. A friend of mine is going out with this guy, but he thinks it's too much of short notice for him to be able to find someone for me. :( and then we thought of someone who could go, a friend's older brother, and it seemed perfect. We have a lot in common, and I know him. he's a nice fellow. But no! he's perfectly willing to come, but he's going to a party tomorrow. And you know what? the more I thought about it, the more fun it would be to go out with him. I feel like such a dork. nobody wants me anymore, except gross people at school. *sob* am I that undesireable??

My mommy is out of town for the weekend, and I might be going on a double date tomorrow with a friend! yippee!

WEE!

href="http://www.wiredreflection.com/tests/magic.html"
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Take the href="http://www.wiredreflection.com/tests/magic.html" target="new"> "How Do You Use Magic?" test! Written by Brimo

Went to the doctor's yesterday. If you know me really well, you're next question should be which one, lol. This one was the diabetes dr. (that's pronounced die-uh-bee-tees, not die-uh-bee-tus, thankyouverymuch.) THings not going to well, specifically because of my doing. But now I'm on a new plan. (i'm taking lantus now, although that probably means nothing to you). Good news though, since February I've lost 15 pounds, YAY. OK, I think that's it for now . . . btw, I'm charlie brown. (don't feel like posting the link, sorry)

Ok, so am I doomed to be haunted by him forever? Ex-boyfriend means not anymore. It means I shouldn't have to deal with him or think about him. Well, that's fine and dandy, except when I have these stupid back together dreams. I hate them! I'm always so happy in them when we're together, and then I wake up and feel horribly depressed. I wish they would stop. I don't need that. . . . On a happier note, the weather has been sooooo gorgeous lately! It's finally feeling like summer! So after that horribly wonderful josh dream, I had a yummylicious Falcon Ridge dream! Yay! I dreamt it was the day before FR and we had just arrived, and were setting up the tents and stuff, it was great. ANd there were lots of friendly people making music. it was happy happy. :) So I think in that summer spirit I'm gonna go lay out in the sun because I CAN! wee!

Got lots of new undies today! I went shopping, and got 5 bras and 10 pairs of undies. yay. and I even splurged! (with my gramma's money, lol) I got two sexy bras (see through lacey ones, not like the usual kind I get). I got one pair of sexy undies, but damn, that stuff is expensive!! oh well, I'm all decked out now! (of course, I don't happen to be wearing any of that now, but whatever)

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What is it with men and cars? My step-father is anal about me checking the various fluids in my car. Is it really that important that I check the oil every two weeks? Oh well. I'll do it. (maybe)

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I got a new book today too. A Clockwork Orange not too sure what it's about, but I'm sure it will be right up my alley. It's Josh's fave book, so I'll have a good time reading it. that's all ttfn!

ugh, I know I said this before, but being sick is really no fun at all. I'm not barfing anymore (let's thank god (or whoever's out there) for the simple things). Now I simply feel completely drained of any and all energy. I spent most of the day reading in bed. I finished the Ya-Ya Sisterhood book. It was not as good as I remembered it being, but I'm guessing that's because of my extreme literary knowledge that I have now. (haha, ok, maybe not. I've just read some real books, instead of all that Danielle Steel crap (which I completely good to read if you want to think about nothing) that I used to read.) Anyway, the book was still good, made me think lots about how much I luvvvv my mommy. aww. :)

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Let me tell you, guys are so dumb. I'm sorry. Maybe not all of them, but the ones that I've been in contact with lately . . . sheesh. Enough to make a girl go lesbian, except I don't think I could put up with the girls either! That's it, self-love only from now on. :)

try this! it takes a little while to load, but it's pretty accurate. These were my results. (They're long, so if you don't read them, I'll understand)

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.

Resentment and stress, due to your present circumstances and/or your unfulfilled emotional needs, have produced considerable anxieties. You would like to get away from it all to somewhere that could be the personification of sympathy and understanding. That 'somewhere' could be close by: relax and let go - take a deep breath and look around - the situation may not be as bad as it seems.

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Being sick really sucks a lot. I was sooo sick yesterday. I had some 24-hour flu. ugh, it was horrible. Feeling much better today though. :) Ok, that's it for now. :)

OK, so boys are dumb, and I've decided that I just don't care anymore. You know, I don't need them, I will keep myself entertained. I don't care that every single one of my friends now has a boyfriend. I do not need one. (rather, don't want one at this point in time) These past two days it has been SOOOOO nice outside. Yesterday I babysat, and took Sophie (my charge, lol, who is about 5 1/2 months old) for a nice walk in her stroller. I was beautiful. And today was even nicer, Syd (a friend) and I went putt-putting (she beat me :( ) And then it was just so beautiful that I threw my bathing suit top on, and went outside in my shorts to soak up some sun. it was soooo relaxing.

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Exboyfriends ruin everything. I'm never dating again. no contact with the opposite sex, that's it. I can't go anywhere without seeing him, or hearing about him. he's better friends with my friends than I am. GAH!!!!! I HATE HIM!